Another Year at Hogwarts
by every-flavor-carmen
Summary: A Rowling-type novel with humor, drama, romance, angst and


Chapter 1 of Another Year at Hogwarts By: Every_Flavor_Carmen  
  
"I can't believe she said that to you, Harry."  
  
"Yeah, I know. It was a bit strange. Hey, Hermione, pass that inkwell, would you?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. Here."  
  
"But I bet you liked it," Ron said, raising his eyebrows slightly, "I mean, come on." Ron grinned.  
  
"Oh, I know," Hermione said jokingly, "passing an inkwell - orgasmic."  
  
Draco Malfoy swept by them on his way to the supply table to get more bat's ears. "Well Granger," he hissed nastily into her ear, "passing an inkwell is the closest thing you'll ever have to having a sex life, so why not?"  
  
Hermione flushed and was about to return with a cutting remark when, two seats away, Neville managed to slop his potion over the edge of his cauldron, send Dean to the hospital wing with a horrible rash, have fifteen points taken away from Gryffindor and end up with Snape breathing down his neck all in the space of thirty seconds.  
  
"Longbottom," he sneered, "why must you be so constantly incompetent?"  
  
Neville paled and started to stammer, "I - I - I ..."  
  
"Another fifteen points for your insufferable stuttering," Snape snapped. "Now, clean up this mess," he ordered, throwing Neville a soggy rag.  
  
"Rawr! What's biting him in the ass?" Rom asked, grinning.  
  
"I think the real question is what's biting him in the ass and, in that case," Harry went on, winking at Hermione, "it would be Filch."  
  
Hermione and Harry immediately started laughing, although quietly, so Snape wouldn't notice them, as Ron looked on in bewilderment.  
  
"I don't get it. What's so funny, other than putting a horrible image of Filch nibbling Snape's... Snape's ... back end," Ron shuddered, "in my mind?" Ron stirred in the unicorn hairs and turned the heat of the cauldron down.  
  
Ron looked at them, still laughing, "Care to explain?"  
  
"Well," Harry whispered, bending over slightly with his quill to appear to be writing down the materials to the Fog-Lifter they were supposed to be making, "Hermione and I, while you were playing Seamus in chess last Saturday, we were... walking down the corridor, the teachers' corridor..."  
  
"What were you doing down the teachers' corridor?" Ron asked, curiously.  
  
"We were... talking. That's not the point of the story though. Do you want to hear it or not?"  
  
"Yeah, sorry, continue."  
  
"Anyway, we saw Filch pull Snape, by his robes, very urgently, into his office. Well, we were a bit curious, so I took out those 'Termite Sight Goggles', you know, the x-ray glasses that see through wood, and looked through the door. I saw Filch grab a packet of condoms from the top drawer, grab Snape's collar and pull into his closet which, unfortunately, had a metal door, or I'd be selling Snape/Filch porn videos, at six Galleons each."  
  
Ron, who'd been laughing the whole time, suddenly stopped and gave Harry a puzzled look. "Porn? What's that?"  
  
Harry stole a sideways glance at Hermione, who was busy measuring Hippocampus fins, and whispered, "You know those videos Fred and George got last year, with the veelas and leprechauns after the World Cup?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Ron grinned.  
  
***  
  
"Three times that boy has escaped from my grasp and twice he has defeated me. My followers are straying away, they have seen my weakness, my minimal magical abilities. I have seen the look in your eyes too, my faithful," he spat the next word, "servant. I have seen your doubt, you, too, see me as defeated."  
  
"Master, I - I would never. You have given me life, power, how can I abandon you? You are also about to give me a gift in which I will be ever so grateful for." Wormtail replied, in a malicious voice.  
  
The man in the chair swiveled around, hissing nastily. "Gift? What gift?  
  
"Why," Wormtail replied, "a life to use to all my advantages."  
  
Wormtail reached for a wand, and pointed it towards Voldemort. "You've given me yours, my faithful... servant. Combibus Animus!" he shouted, and then the room was quiet.  
  
***  
  
"I don't get it," Ron said to Harry, as they walked to their next class, "why haven't we seen our new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor yet?"  
  
"I don't know," replied Hermione, "but due to the recent track record, maybe they should just cancel the program altogether."  
  
Slowly, Ron pushed open the door, revealing the large Defense room and, seeing about half their classmates already seated, they grabbed three desks near the front ("It can't hurt," Hermione had said.) and waited.  
  
As they waited for the teacher to arrive, they watched the classroom fill up. This year, they'd be taking Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Hufflepuffs, which made the Gryffindors all very happy. Hannah Abbot walked through the door as Ron waved at her and ushered her over.  
  
"Hey, sweetie," he said, giving her a kiss, "how was Arithmacy this morning?"  
  
"Difficult as usual, but not too terribly bad," she said, returning the kiss.  
  
"Want me to get your bag?" Ron offered.  
  
"Sure, thanks"  
  
He hung her bag on the back of a chair next to him and she sat down.  
  
"Hey, Harry, how are you," Hermione turned to Harry, smiling teasingly, "how was breakfast this morning? Want me to suck your dick for you?"  
  
"Sure, honey, that'd be great, and how about I give you orgasmic pleasure tonight?" he returned, on the edge of laughter.  
  
Ron glared at them but couldn't help but smiling.  
  
At this moment, the new teacher walked in. The room went silent as she strode to the front. She was tall, brunette, and gorgeous. Her hair cascaded past her shoulders, silky, smooth and wavy, and she was wearing a low cut, white, v-neck sweater and a black pencil-line skirt.  
  
As she turned to face them, not a single boy wasn't staring.  
  
She smiled at the class, and began to speak, "Hello. My name is Professor Sophia Bella. I will be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. Any questions...? Perfect." She smiled and began to write on the chalkboard.  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Harry, what do you think of the new teacher, eh?" Ron smiled, looking at his friend. The three of them were sitting in the library, in one of the private study rooms, and, much to Hermione's dismay, were not studying.  
  
"Definently... talented," Harry said, winking at Ron. "I'm sure I'll learn a lot this year..."  
  
"Oh, would you two stop! I know for a fact the only talent she's got is doing a good Tanning Spell ("Tanning?" Ron asked). Now please, concentrate. Harry, for the third time," Hermione said again, very frustrated, "Who was one of the most famous 10th century unregistered animagus?"  
  
"I don't know, Hermione. Nor do I care. Look, if I fail the quiz in Transfiguration, it'll be my fault. Look, I've got to go. Dumbledore promised to teach me how to make a Pensieve. See you later." Harry walked out and took a right, going to Dumbledore's office, but when coming upon the gargoyle statue, walked right passed it and continued on down the corridor. Harry had started making his Pensieve quite some time ago, as a matter of fact, Dumbledore had already set it up for him, and all that was left for him to do was to put in the memories. Instead, he walked outside into the atrium and continued until he stopped at the Owlery.  
  
He sat down in the corner, took out a quill, inkwell and parchment, looked around to make sure no one was there, and started to write.  
  
Dear Sirius,  
  
***  
  
Hermione and Harry were sitting at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, while, by themselves in a corner, Ron and Hannah were "studying". Harry was working on his Defense essay while Hermione was re-reading Hogwarts: A History (Was this the eighth time?). Since they both had a free period after breakfast, that was where they were most mornings. As they sat there, Harry deeply into his homework, Hermione was less than content; she would read a few pages, look up at Harry, begin to say something and then change her mind and look back down. After the fourth time she did this, Harry said, "Hermione? Do you want something?"  
  
"Well... I can't help but wonder... what did you mean by that kiss? The one in the teachers' corridor? After we saw Filch and Snape?"  
  
Harry blushed and looked back down. "Oh... well... I don't know... are you upset?"  
  
"No... but.... Harry, do you like me? Was the kiss a mistake? I just don't understand." Hermione was getting frustrated, "This isn't the first time you've done this either. What is this? Four times in four years? If you like me, tell me. If you don't, don't - well, if you don't than... tell me what you meant by that kiss, it is driving me mad.  
  
"Are you sure you're not angry?"  
  
"Yes! Well... no... I don't know. Argh! Harry Potter. Do -- You -- Like -- Me?"  
  
"Not - not exactly - I'm sorry."  
  
Hermione sighed and went back to her book, murmuring a quiet, but very clear, "Not as sorry as me."  
  
***  
  
"Why didn't I just tell her? Why didn't I say, 'Hermione, not only do I like you, I love you. I have loved you forever.' Why, Ron? Why am I such a bloody coward?"  
  
Harry and Ron were in the Gryffindor boys' room, Ron was sitting on his bed, while Harry paced around the room, yelling.  
  
"Harry-"  
  
"It's obvious she kind of likes me -"  
  
"Harry! -"  
  
"Right? I'm not imagining this -"  
  
"Harry!-"  
  
"Dammit! Why, fucking, why?"  
  
"HARRY! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"  
  
Harry quieted down and looked at his enraged friend.  
  
"Go to her. Tell her you love her. Talk to her. Please, Harry, if not for me, or you, then for her. You owe it to her."  
  
"How can I, Ron? After all I put her through? Kissing her and then breaking her heart. Posing for all those publicity photos with models from Teen Witch Weekly." Harry stopped talking and sat down, speaking softly now, "How could I do this to her? What kind of person am I, Ron? I love Hermione more than anything in the world. I would do anything for her. How could I do this?"  
  
Ron looked at his friend and, very calmly, said, "Talk to her, Harry. Talk to her." And walked out of the room to leave Harry to deal with his problems.  
  
***  
  
Ginny walked down the rows of books in the library, looking anxiously around for her friend, Hermione. Where could she be? Not in the common room, not talking to any teachers, not in the study room and not even in the library. Ginny was so caught up in her thoughts she didn't notice Draco walking towards her and slammed right into him, knocking them both to the ground.  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you alright?" Ginny looked up to see the face of the person she just knocked down. "Oh," her voice darkened, "It's you, Malfoy," she spat his name like rotten pumpkin juice.  
  
"Don't seem too excited to see me, Weasley," he replied, amused scorn in his voice.  
  
"Well, now that I see your... profound taste in literature, I sure am excited," She said sarcastically, picking up one of his Witches, Witches, Witches - Undressed magazines. "Although, I can't be nearly as excited as you'll be with these tonight." She smiled wickedly and tossed it to him.  
  
"Poor Gin - Gin, knickers in a bunch because Harry turned you down?" Malfoy replied, with mocking sincerity.  
  
"Actually, I'm looking for Hermione, if it's any of your business. Know where she might be?"  
  
"Last time I checked she was... yeah... she was whining because the "perrrrfect Harry Potter turned her down"... so sad. If I was Harry, and I'd taken a look at her rack lately, I wouldn't be so quick. Of course, it's hard looking beyond her river-rat appearance."  
  
"Ugh," Ginny replied, sickened, "boys. Is that all you think about? Racks? Grow up, Malfoy." Ginny turned to walk away but Draco pulled her arm and turned her towards him.  
  
"Don't worry, Ginny, you still have a chance with me. Even though you are a Gryffindor and you are Weasley dirt, you're still hot enough to have a piece of the famous Malfoy cock," he smiled, which sent waves of disgust down her spine.  
  
"Malfoy, you couldn't get me touch anything of yours; get over yourself."  
  
"If you say so," Malfoy said, smirking, and he turned away.  
  
He left Ginny gawking as he sauntered off, his customary swagger exaggerated to campy proportions, so he looked almost like a runaway llama. Still, it was surprisingly sexy.  
  
***  
  
"Harry! Over here," Hermione called towards Harry, gesturing over to the table in the Three Broomsticks where she, Ron, Ginny and Hannah were already sitting. Ginny hung out with the three a lot more since she had gotten over her crush (obsession) with Harry and gotten back to her normal self.  
  
"Hey, sorry I took so long. I had to get - something." Harry said, looking at their impatient faces.  
  
"That's fine," Ron said, turning towards Harry, who had just seated himself across from him, and lowering his voice, "Look, Dean and Seamus are throwing a party tomorrow night. It'll be for 4 th years to 7th years. Pretty selective. Fred and George found the room for it. It's a really small room but they've put a spell and made it bigger, without it bulging out of the side of the building or some shit like that."  
  
"Oh, is it for Quidditch?" Hermione inquired, looking up from her Arithmancy book.  
  
"Erm... not exactly," Ron replied, smiling and elbowing Harry.  
  
Hermione set her book on the table. She looked at the boys.  
  
"Is this party legal?" she asked, looking at them disprovingly.  
  
"By legal... do you mean not legal?" Ron replied, grinning.  
  
"Ron! Are you sure you want to risk detention and countless points from Gryffindor just to see Parvati and Lavender in a wet t-shirt contest?"  
  
"Wet? T-shirts?" Ron's voice turned unusually high and started coughing.  
  
"Hermione, Ron isn't like that.That's why I like him so much," Hannah said, smiling and leaned over to kiss Ron on the cheek.  
  
"Yeah, Ron's a bloody angel, trust me on that one," Ginny mumbled. Ron elbowed her.  
  
"Oh, shut up! You're just jealous because you won't be able to go."  
  
"Erm... Ron? I'm a 4th year. I can go," Ginny said, smiling.  
  
"No you can't! I will not let you go to a party with all those guys. There will be people there doing very innapropriate things. Things my baby sister can't see. I'm sorry Ginny," Ron replied, in a tone of finality.  
  
"Ron Weasley, you have no input on this. I'm sorry, but I'm going. And by the way, as far as these 'inapropriate things', I've done more than you know."  
  
"What?!?!" Ron started stuttering and spitting everywhere. "With who? What have you done? Virginia..."  
  
"Ron, nobody, and I mean nobody, other than Mum or Dad can get away with using my full name. If you do it again, I'll slap you," said Ginny, menacingly.  
  
"Errr..," said Ron, going pale, "Right. But... but Gin, what have you done?"  
  
"I am not telling you. The point is, I'm going," Ginny replied, then reached into her bag, grabbed her Witch Walkman and pulled on her headphones.  
  
*** Harry excused himself from the table and hurried upstairs to the Owlery. As he walked in, a large snowy white owl whom he recognized as his own Hedwig flew over to him, dropping a letter in his hands. She hooted merrily and flew back over to a very large caramel brown owl who was extending its wings. Did my owl just bat her eyelashes? Harry mentally shook himself and walked downstairs to the Gryffindor common room, sat on a velvet maroon chair in the corner, and opened up the letter.  
  
Dear Harry,  
Good to hear from you. To answer all your questions and comment: 1. If your scar wasn't hurting during the visions of Voldemort and Wormtail in your dreams and daydreams, then something peculiar is going on. I'll look into it.  
  
2. Tall, leggy brunette as your Defense teacher? I can come for Parent- Teacher conferences, if you're having problems. Don't hesitate to ask.  
  
3. Tell Hermione you love her. Stop it. I know you got mad at what I just said, it's probably what Ron said too, isn't it? (Harry nodded, ashamed) Listen to us! We're right, you know..  
  
Keep me informed - Snuffles  
  
Harry smiled as he finished the letter. Parent-Teacher conferences my ass. Harry looked into the mirror, turning around. And a very nice ass at that he added, walking out of the room with a slight skip, before he fainted to the floor.  
  
***  
  
Harry blinked several times, as his eyes zoomed in and out of focus. A bit like being drunk. Not that I would know. Harry added quickly. Oh, it's just my thoughts. No one can hear me. Harry thought, reminiscing of the time one of the 6th years brought in a keg of Vampire Vodka, a keg of Werewolf Whiskey and two kegs of Muggle beer into the Gryffindor common room. Hermione had gotten wildly drunk that night, ending with her whipping her robes over her head screaming(singing?) Cast That Spell One More Time by Witchney Spells.  
  
"Harry? Are you awake?" Hermione bent over him, her hair in his face. Aww man. It smells like that Herbal Essence stuff. I love that shit.  
  
"Harry? Are you up?" Harry heard Ron's voice.  
  
Harry opened his eyes and sat up, looking around for the first time that morning. Ahh... Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"Miss Granger, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Potter will be just fine. Now, I need to give him his medicine, would you please leave and come back during visiting hours?" Madam Pomfrey said briskly, shooing them out of the room.  
  
Suddenly, Harry heard a voice. A deep, quiet voice, filled with concern and protectiveness.  
  
"Well, Poppy?"  
  
"Professor Dumbledore," Harry heard Madam Pomfrey say, "every time this boy is in here, you always take him out of my care. I respect you very much, but he is so ill. Can't this wait?"  
  
"Poppy," Dumbldore responded gently, "you know very well it can't. If Harry was telling the truth, which I don't doubt, then Lord Voldemort may very well be defeated, but in his place, a more powerful dark wizard may be taking over. We just can't risk it. Have you figured out what is wrong yet?"  
  
"Well," she started, "it doesn't look good..."  
  
ADDITIONAL NOTES:  
  
"He left Ginny gawking as he sauntered off, his customary swagger exaggerated to campy proportions, so he looked almost like a runaway llama. Still, it was surprisingly sexy." --  
  
Stolen in every way, shape and form from Allegra in her loffily fic which I read constantly which you must also read -- All Bets Are Off  
  
READ AND REVIEW (please) 


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